COULD IT BE ADD?

In my self-reflection, I see that I have always had a deficit, some sort of ADD. I struggle with memory. Long term – I’m unable to recall many of the things my siblings remember about our childhood. Short term – names of places and people elude me and anything involving numbers gets all mixed up in translation. I do not believe that it is dementia, as it has always been this way. But it sure makes me wonder, whenever my mind has such a tendency to wander! Just yesterday, I told a friend that my train often pulls out the station, but I am not on board!

I must work hard at learning anything; memorization is a struggle. As a result, when I am expected to grasp anything immediately, it doesn’t happen. I ask a lot of questions in an attempt to understand (it drives my husband crazy) or I just pretend to get it. As an example: when I was in school, I tried out for cheerleading every year from eighth grade on, always making it to the last cut. The final test of one’s ability was to be taught a routine on the spot and then to be able to perform it. I was always eliminated at this point. I did not possess the ability to catch on without a ton of practice.

I don’t want to use this inability in my life as an excuse. It is just a fact. I know it is necessary for me to try harder in order to succeed. In college they called me “Avis Davis” – because I tried harder (at the time Avis Car Rental used the byline “We Try Harder”). I had to try harder. Now, I don’t always have the energy or will to do so.

I guess I will play games with myself to try and remember things – reciting lists I’ve made in my head, playing the family alphabet game with license plates, when I am driving. I’ve been told if you walk into a room and forget the reason you came to the room – that’s normal. If you can’t find your car keys – that’s normal. It is when you walk into a room and have no idea where you are or when you have your keys in your hand and have no idea what to do with them, then you need to be concerned, very concerned!